


Out of Control

by Summer Rain (Zeram)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama/Romance, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 05:47:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeram/pseuds/Summer%20Rain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim's actions around Blair are suddenly out of control, and they don't know what to do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Control

This story has dark elements in it and contains scene of an apparent sexual assault. 

Disclaimer: Characters Jim Ellison and Blair Sandburg belong to Pet Fly Prod. and Paramount. No monetary units exchanged hands for this story. 

## Out of Control

by Summer Rain  


Blair was sleeping soundly in his room. All of a sudden the door to his room crashed open. Jim was standing there, his large frame filling up the doorway. Blair only had time to say a startled "what.." before Jim pulled him roughly off of the bed. 

Jim looked down at Blair his eyes were totally glazed over. He looked as if he were zoned out. Jim dragged Blair up roughly and began kissing him with bruising force. Blair tried to disengage himself from Jim's hold but it was almost a useless attempt. There was really no way he could overpower Jim and Jim was holding him so close he didn't have any leverage to swing his arms or legs to strike back at Jim. 

Jim knocked Blair on the side of the head and while Blair lay stunned on the floor, he reached down and began ripping Blair's clothes off. Blair gasped and swung his fist up connecting with Jim's face. Jim showed no sign of being hit and continued the assault. 

He had yanked down Blair's pants and began pummeling into Blair, no reaction on his face. The only sound in the room was Blair's whimpering. "Please Jim..don't do this!" 

Jim startled awake. He was totally confused. What was he doing in Blair's room. Did he come down to talk to Blair? No, Blair was staying at his friends house tonight. 

Confused, Jim tried to remember how he had gotten there. Suddenly he remembered the dream...no the nightmare. His mind recoiled at the memory of the nightmare and he ran to the bathroom. The memory of the nightmare so strong it made him physically ill. 

Jim cleaned up and went back up to his room. He was afraid to go back to sleep. Afraid that he would have that nightmare again. He felt like he was going insane. 

Something weird was going on with him, but he couldn't ask Blair to help out that would only freak Blair out. 

It had started a few months ago. He had been doing really well lately, he hadn't zoned out for a while. Lately though, he had been having mini zone outs, he couldn't understand why. And then the dreams about Blair started. 

At first they had been sweet albeit disturbing. They always involved he and Blair in some romantic situation. But then the dreams had turned to nightmares, like the one tonight. 

It had really spooked him when he found himself one night already half way down the stairs with no memory of how he got there. A few weeks after that he found himself in front of Blair's room with his hand on the doorknob. 

*Oh God, am I going crazy* Jim thought to himself. 

He held his head in his hands and sighed. He just had to be more in control that's all. As long as he stayed in control nothing could happen.  
  


* * *

"What's wrong Blair?" Aaron asked. He finally had to ask. Usually he didn't pry but Blair had been pacing around his apartment all night. 

"What did Jim do now?" 

"Huh" Blair was startled, how did Aaron know? 

"The only time I see you this upset is when it involves Jim, so tell me what's wrong" 

"That's just it, I don't know man, I can tell something is bothering him but he won't tell me what" *and then there are those zone outs* he added silently. 

"Oh well if its really important he'll tell me eventually I suppose" he tried to rationalize, but still he couldn't help but worry. 

Blair decided to go to sleep but his dreams were marked by uneasiness. Over and over he dreamt that Jim was drowning. He was in a boat and Jim had fallen overboard, he kept reaching out to Jim and calling Jim's name but Jim refused to take his hand. 

He reached out further to Jim but Jim batted his hand away saying 

"I'm not taking you down with me Chief" 

Blair sighed and opened his eyes tiredly. "These dreams, what are they trying to tell me?" he asked aloud. But there would be no answers for him that night. 

The next day was horrible. Blair was working with Jim on a case and Jim suffered not one but three zone outs. By the time they got home from work, Blair was at his wits end. What could be causing these zone outs? He tried to talk Jim into doing some tests, but Jim was in an altogether foul mood. 

He had asked Jim if they had anymore beer and Jim had growled "What do you want from me, I don't know everything Sandburg" and stormed out of the loft. 

Blair just stood there stunned. *Something is really wrong with Jim* he thought. Whereas normally he would have been angry if Jim had responded to him in this way, today it just added to his growing concern. And he couldn't even ask Jim or confront him to find out what was going on because Jim had stormed off. 

That was what concerned Blair the most. Usually Jim was the first one to want to tackle a problem. He was a great believer in laying all the cards on the table, this time he had all the cards behind his back and wouldn't even allow Blair a glimpse. 

In fact Blair realized lately he barely had contact with Jim anymore. Jim had been finding little errands to do all the time. 

*It's as if he is avoiding me, but why?* 

Jim drove around, finally ending up at the park. He got out of the truck and sat on one of the benches. He felt ten times better than when he had been in the loft with Blair. Being in such close proximity to Blair all day had been maddening. He had been making up little errands to do all day, just so he could get a breather. 

But when Blair spoke to him in the loft that was the last straw. He had to get out of there before he lost all vestiges of his control. 

The look of hurt on Blair's face when he snapped at him...he sighed and rubbed his hands tiredly over his face. He got up and drove back to the loft. 

He opened the door to the loft. Blair looked at him from his position on the couch. Jim pointedly ignored him and headed directly to his room. 

The two men went to bed frustrated. One because he had felt completely off kilter all day and the other because he wanted to help but was being pushed aside. 

Blair sighed and went to sleep. He was awakened by a noise outside of his room. He opened the door to see Jim in front of it with a vacant look on his face. He had just opened his mouth to speak when Jim grabbed him by the arms and hauled him roughly out of the room. 

Jim crushed Blair to his chest and began the assault on his lips. Blair could only struggle against him and hope that Jim would let him come up for air. 

Blair struggled desperately against Jim. Jim reached down to rip Blairs T-shirt off. Blair used the opportunity to push Jim off of him. 

"Jim, what the hell is wrong with you?" 

Jim heard a voice speaking to him from far away. He tried to focus. *Is that Blair calling to me, is he in trouble?* He shook his head trying to clear the cobwebs out. He finally began to focus. He looked across from him and saw Blair against the wall clutching the remains of his shirt. 

Jim frowned and then gasped as he realized what must have happened. 

"Oh my God, oh my god" Jim muttered over and over to himself. 

"Jim, Jim talk to me, what's wrong with you man?" Blair had unconsciously reached out and touched Jim's arm. Blair watched as Jim's face got that vacant look again, and watched it disappear when Jim shook his head. 

*What is going on, it's almost as if he's zoning out, but it's no zone out I've ever seen before* 

"Get out Chief" Jim growled and walked over to the sofa to put distance between himself and Blair. 

"What? you're kicking me out because I didn't respond the way you wanted" Blair said angrily. 

"No, you don't understand...I don't know how much longer I can keep control...please Blair, leave for your own good." 

"What do you mean for my own good?" Blair said walking up to Jim. 

Jim grabbed him again and then tore his hands away as if he had touched fire. Jim's mind was warring with his body and he felt more and more like his body was going to win. And he knew if his body won, when he came to, his mind would never forgive his body. Even if by some miracle Blair could ever forgive him, he knew he would not forgive himself. With the last fragment of his mind that could think coherently, he knew he had to get Blair out, NOW! 

"Oh god, I want to...I can't stop...please Blair GO!" Jim shouted shaking with the effort it took to remain in control. 

He had a look in his eyes that frightened Blair. Blair's eyes widened at the state Jim was in. He could see Jim visibly shaking from the effort it was taking him to remain in control. Blair ran into his room to put his clothes on. 

Jim looked around the room, eyes almost unseeing. All he could think was that he had to protect Blair. He hoped against hope that his handcuffs were there...Yes! there they were where he had left them. When he came back out he saw that Jim had handcuffed himself to the balcony door. 

He started to walk up to Jim but Jim shook his head. He had gained a slight bit of control when Blair moved away from him but he knew if Blair got any closer he would lose it again. 

"On the counter are the keys to the truck..take it, go somewhere safe." Jim said quietly gritting his teeth. 

"What about you Jim? I can't leave you handcuffed there all night" 

"Toss me the keys when you are about to leave the loft...and then run like hell" Jim said and then began shaking. Blair could see that Jim's hard fought for control had snapped. 

Jim began to struggle against the 'cuffs trying to get at Blair. Jim looked like a trapped animal, he was struggling so hard against the handcuffs. With animals who were trapped and struggled to free themselves, they were answering a basic instinct, the instinct to survive. 

*What instinct is Jim answering?* Blair asked himself. 

Jim for his part had no questions on his mind. His body had taken control. It screamed at him that it needed it's mate. It was the most primal urge that his body wanted to give in to. He could not help it, he had to have Blair. But something was holding him back, in his crazed state he did not even remember handcuffing himself to the door. Jim began to whimper. He felt as if he were on fire, a fire that only Blair could quench. Blair took a step forward. He was struck by indecision. He had the desire to help his friend but he knew that freeing Jim would pose a danger to him. 

"Jim, we will figure this out I promise, I-I love you and I won't let you down" 

What a time to confess it. But it was true. He did love Jim and it hurt him greatly to see Jim in this condition and know that it had something to do with himself. What it had to do with him he did not know yet. But he would find out. He had to if he was going to help the man he loved. 

He looked sadly at his friend who continued to struggle. Blair tossed the keys towards Jim and as instructed, ran like hell. 

Blair could barely concentrate on driving. Was Jim okay? Was he still handcuffed to the door? Would Jim come after him? Where should he go? Should he go back to the loft to check on Jim? Maybe Jim was over IT whatever IT was. But no, Jim had expressly told him to run like hell. And that is what he was doing wasn't it...running. 

*God, I'm such a coward, running when my friend needs me* Blair shook his head knowing that thinking like that would get him nowhere. By this time Jim could have gotten loose and if he had... 

*He could probably snap me like a twig in about 2 minutes...no, this problem is going to take brains to figure out, I've gotta think this through...I've gotta help Jim* Blair began to feel one of his panic attacks setting in. 

"Okay, breathe Sandburg breathe. This is not time to panic." He found himself headed towards Aaron's house. It was a safe place to go, Jim didn't know where Aaron lived and hopefully wouldn't investigate and find out. Blair left the truck about a mile from Aaron's place and began to walk the rest of the way. He was afraid to leave the truck too close to Aaron's place in case Jim would be able to trace him. 

*Okay, lets think about this Blair, what would cause Jim to act this way* 

Something he ate? No, they hadn't had anything unusual lately. One of his cases hitting to close to home? No, Jim had handled tough cases before and never brought it home with him, especially not to the point of attacking Blair. Blair sighed in frustration he tried as hard as he could but could not come up with something that would cause Jim to go ballistic like he did. 

And what was up with that kiss? By the way Jim had been struggling against the 'cuffs he had looked as if he wanted to get at Blair to kill him or something. But now as Blair thought back, realization dawned on him. Jim had kissed him, felt him up, and ripped his shirt. 

Blair shuddered, remembering all the fantasies he'd had of Jim coming to his room to make love to him. Not one of those fantasies had ever involved Jim taking from him what he would have willingly given. 

*What's that phrase? Be careful what you wish for* Blair shuddered again, *My god, what if I hadn't been able to get away...* 

Blair quickened his pace to Aaron's door. 

He knocked on Aaron's door hoping that Aaron was actually home and awake at this time of the night. 

"Hey, man what's up, what are you doing here at this time of night?" Aaron said opening the door with a surprised look on his face. Blair walked in. 

"Well uh, actually that is..." 

"You had a fight with Jim" Aaron said laughingly and then stopped laughing and squinted his eyes. "He hurt you" it was not a question it was a statement. 

"What? no...he ..what makes you say that?" Blair answered way too quickly. 

Aaron turned him around so that he faced the mirror in the hallway. Blair looked and saw that there was a slight bruising around his mouth from when Jim had brutally kissed him. 

He laughed "No, man just had a date tonight, she liked things a little rougher than I do so I broke it off" he hoped he sounded convincing. 

Aaron looked at him for a minute before laughing. "Blair, Blair, well anyway the spare room is the same as you left it yesterday. I know you came here to crash, I doubt you are making a social visit at this time of night" 

"Thanks man, goodnight" Blair said as Aaron headed off to bed. 

He waited until Aaron had closed the door before taking off his jacket to look at his arms. He winced as he saw the bruises from where Jim had held him.  
  


* * *

Jim sat down wearily in front of the balcony door, he had just released himself from the handcuffs. It was amazing, as soon as Blair left he had calmed down. He wanted to go after Blair to tell him he was all right but he couldn't. He couldn't take the chance of hurting Blair, he knew he would never forgive himself. 

*How ironic* Jim thought. 

Looking back on it he realized all of this craziness had started soon after Blair's ordeal with Lash. It had hit him then how much Blair meant to him. How much he wanted to protect Blair, to soothe the terror from the other man's face as he came out of that ordeal. He remembered Blair's crack about the Blessed Protector. 

*Some Blessed Protector I am* Jim thought. 

*I wish I could protect him now, but I'm the one he needs protecting from* he thought to himself helplessly *What am I gonna do?* 

Jim rocked back and forth. "Oh Blair, I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry" he could not hold back the tears any more. Blair's parting words came rushing back to Jim. "I love you too Blair" he whispered to the empty room. 

Blair flicked the TV on and sat down wearily only half paying attention to what was on the screen. It was just one of those nature shows. Blair bolted upright when the title flashed across the screen. "Pheromones". 

"Of course" Blair said out loud.*That had to be it right?* Blair thought uncertainly. 

What if that wasn't it? But what else could it be? 

"Nothing unusual has been happening lately. No weird food, no outrageous cases. And Jim is reacting to something about me. He's reacting sexually. I doubt something he ate would make him react that way. I have to see how far this thing goes....I should call him, if he reacts to my voice then we will know it's just me he's reacting to. If he doesn't react then we will know he needs my physical presence, my pheromones to make him go berserk." 

Blair sunk back into the sofa as his initial elation over the hypotheses faded. He looked over at the phone as if it were a snake poised to strike. 

*Okay, might as well get this over with* he rung the loft holding his breath as Jim picked up. 

"Hi Chief" he heard Jim say exhaustedly. 

"How did you know it was me?" 

"I know you Chief, always trying to look after me" Blair heard Jim sigh. 

"Well you can't do it this time Blair....I don't want to hurt you..please" 

"Jim wait..." 

"Goodbye Blair" Jim whispered hanging up the phone. 

Blair stared at the phone mutely. He sighed, Jim must know he was not going to give up that easily. 

*Well, at least I know he doesn't go ballistic at the sound of my voice..so that leaves me physically...so there's the problem now the problem is, what the hell do we do about this?*  
  


* * *

The rest of the week found Blair trying to get in contact with Jim and Jim refusing to meet with him. 

*Oh, the heck with this. I'm going down to the precinct so we can talk this out* Blair thought to himself. Maybe the fact that they wouldn't be alone would distract Jim enough and take the focus off of Blair. 

"So Jim, how is Sandburg, haven't seen him around lately" Simon asked. 

Jim's head snapped up. "Uh, he moved out Simon" 

"What!" Simon gasped. "What happened Jim?" 

"Nothing Simon, just a little disag..." Jim's voice cut off as he began to get that weird feeling again. He stood up, intent on leaving the room, when Blair stepped off of the elevator. 

*Just my luck, nobody is here* Blair thought before being distracted from the growl coming from the other side of the room. 

Simon gasped as Jim ran forward to grab at Blair. Blair just had enough time to duck before Simon grabbed Jim from behind. He ran into Simon's office while Simon told Jim to take a walk. Luckily Blair was far enough away and the Captain distracting enough so that Jim could think coherently enough to follow the Captain's orders. 

Inside the office Blair was frustrated. *Ughh! it was a mistake to come here* 

He took out his observer ID and placed it on Simon's desk. 

Simon was still flabbergasted, he had never known Jim to go after a friend like that. *If I hadn't grabbed him....he looked like he wanted to kill Blair* Simon thought to himself as he opened the door to his office. He stopped at the sight of Blair's ID on the table. 

"Blair, aren't you being a little hasty?" 

"Come one Captain, you saw the way Jim acted...there is no way I can work with him now" Blair said knowing Simon would probably misinterpret Jim's actions. 

"Blair, whatever the problem is, I'm sure you can work it out" Simon said, he didn't now what the problem was all he knew was that slowly but surely Jim would deteriorate without Blair by his side. He would never tell Blair of course but the partners complimented each other, they needed each other. 

Blair stood, "No, there's no way...I've gotta go...bye Simon" 

Simon stood up and put his hand on Blair's shoulder as Blair walked out of the door. "Goodbye Blair" 

He entered the office again and took Blair's ID from on top of his desk and put it in the drawer. *I think I'll hold onto this for a little while, hopefully this, whatever _this_ is will all get resolved, it has to..those two were meant to be together, in more ways than one* 

Blair exited the station, he looked around, he could feel Jim watching him but he didn't see him anywhere. 

Jim watched Blair from the truck, he could see Blair clearly but was far enough away so that he knew he wouldn't come after Blair. He saw Blair's lips moving and focused his hearing. 

"Jim, I know you are around here. I can feel it. I came here to tell you I think I know the what the problem is. I think you are reacting to my pheromones Jim, I've been reading up on it Jim, the signs are all there but I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what to do" Blair said, frustrated. 

"That makes two of us Chief" Jim whispered in the truck. 

The next several days were toture. Blair and Jim both felt as if a part of them were missing. Though Aaron was great about letting Blair stay there...he wasn't Jim. Blair only had a few things with him, he had run out of the loft with only the clothes on his back and had been borrowing Aaron's clothes all this time. He had to get back to the loft to get his stuff. 

"Banks" Simon said answering the phone. 

"Hey Simon, it's me Blair" 

"Hows it going Blair?" Simon asked, but he didn't need to. Blair sounded exactly like Jim looked, exhausted, harried and forlorn. 

"Fine, uh Simon I need a favor. I've got to get some things from the apartment but uh..." 

"You have to make sure Jim won't be there" Simon sighed "Don't worry he's supposed to be here all day catching up on some paperwork" 

"Oh, thanks Simon" 

Blair walked to the building and went up to the apartment. He paused when he opened the door. He called out for Jim just in case. 

*Jim is not here, if he was I'm sure he would make his presence known* he thought walking around the loft. 

Had it really only been a couple of weeks since he was here. It had felt like a lifetime ago when the world was rolling along at a predictable pace, now....nothing was the same. 

*Can I ever return here* he thought before going into his room to collect his things. 

"Hey Simon" 

"Jim where are you?" Simon asked over the crackling on Jim's cell phone. 

"Listen Simon before the batteries die out on me, just called to say I'm not feeling so hot....I'm calling it a day, I'll see you tomorrow" Jim said before he was cut off. 

"What!?! wait Jim, Jim...can you hear me, Jim!" Simon shouted into the phone *Oh shit! Sandburg* 

Jim tried to open the door to the loft quickly. He could hear the phone ringing behind the door. He opened the door shutting it behind him and began to walk towards the phone just as Blair came out of the room. Jim stiffened, he didn't even need to turn his head to know that Blair was there. 

Blair caught the flurry of movement from the corner of his eye. He turned to run back into the room but did not move quickly enough. He yelped as Jim slammed into his back slamming his face into the wall. He was disoriented but was still aware of Jim groping his backside, gripping his ass possesively. He woke fully when he felt Jim bite his neck and then claw at his pants trying to drag them down. 

He put all of his strength into the elbow he knocked into Jim's ribs. Jim stumbled back a bit shocked out of his zone. It was all the time Blair needed to grab his bag and run. 

Blair wandered around, grimacing as he glanced at his face in a store window. He could see a visible bruise on his face and the teethmarks on his neck. He knew he couldn't go back to Aaron's. He knew Aaron would not believe the "rough girlfriend story again". 

Blair looked up and saw reflected in the window a couple behind him holding hands. 

*I wish that was me. I finally find someone I love. Someone I want to share my life with and what happens? I can't be with him, I never seem to win....the fates are laughing at me* 

He glanced behind him at the couple. His eyes narrowed...and he took a deep breath. 

*Not this time, Jim is the most important thing in my life. I will not lose him* Blair looked up as if in a challenge. 

"I am his Guide and nothing is going to take him away from me" 

*There is only one place left to go right now, back to my office, I'll have to camp out there until I figure this thing out...I'll also be closer to all my Sentinel work...there must be something there, something I overlooked* Blair thought as he boarded the bus to head for the university 

He tried to read over his texts as much as he could, but the world didn't stop just because of his problems. He had classes to cover as well as students to mentor. A couple of them had even looked at him strangely when they saw the bruise on his face. No one said anything luckily, but they didn't have to, the strange looks they gave him were enough. 

The next couple of days were spent camping out at his office, getting up early to hide his stuff and start researching as soon as possible. 

Blair sighed. "I just want this to be over with". His eye sight was getting blurry from all the use they had been getting lately. He rubbed his eyes and kept on reading. 

Blair sat up. *Whats this? I never noticed this before* on the page he was reading was about two sentences reffering to a Sentinel who had "lost their faculties" and had tried to hurt their Guide. *What does this mean exactly?* 

It wasn't enough. Blair growled in frustration, then he noted that there was what some writing in the margin. A phrase maybe? He squinted at the page his eye sight getting blurry. 

"Damnit! I'm so close, I better take a break, being exhausted won't help Jim" 

Blair left the office to walk down the hall. He was so deep in his thoughts that he had not noticed his colleauge until he bumped into her, scattering her papers everywhere. 

"Oh man I'm sorry really sorry" he mumbled as he tried to help her pick up the papers. He paused when he saw the title on one of her pages. That was the phrase he had just seen in the margin of the book he was reading! He could barely contain himself as he handed her the page. 

"Whats this?" 

She looked at him strangely but answered "It's the title of a book, over at the exhibit hall one of the professors is doing a little exhibit on anthropologists and their failed theories, you should check it..." she trailed off as Blair took off full speed down the hall. 

The kids in the exhibit hall looked up in shock as they saw Professor Sandburg come running in. 

*Whoaw, I'd better slow down. I've got to make sure that the work is here, better not get my hopes up.* He glanced around the room, growing more and more frustrated. 

*Damnit, it's not here* 

"Blair?" Blair jumped at the sound of his name. It was a T.A with her office two doors down from his. "Blair is something wrong?" 

*Yes, everything* "No, there was just something I was looking for...a book about a Guide" 

"Oh you mean that raunchy sex book" she leered. 

"Huh, what do you mean?" he said his heart starting to beat double time. 

"Yeah I remeber...we took it out of the exhibit. It's not really a book it's just a few notes from a book. Just some obscure anthropologist talking about somebody boffing with their "Guide", whatever that meant" 

"Can I see it" Blair tried to keep his voice as calm as possible. 

"Uh sure, it's in my office. Heres the key just remember to return it to me 

"Sure, thanks a million" he said as he walked down the hall back towards the T.A's office. 

He looked around before spotting the pages in a glass cabinet. He opened the cabinet and held his breath as he took the pages out. 

*Can this be it, God I hope so* he thought as he set the pages down on the table. He began to pore over the notes. 

*Here it is, here it is* Blair practically bounced in his seat. He had finally got to the part about the Guide, there was boffing mentioned but only after the Sentinel had tried to attack the Guide several times. 

*It says here, the Guide finally confined himself with his Sentinel for several days. Because the Guide was bigger than the Sentinel he was able to restrain her so that she would not attack him. They both came out alive and well. However...* and thats where the notes cut off. * I wish I had the rest of the notes but at least I have a plausible solution here. 

*But still, that Guide had the physical advantage. It's totally the opposite here, I've got to find a way that Jim can't use his strength on me* 

Jim had been in the loft for the past few days. The Captain had finally persuaded him to take the time off. Being in the loft was torture though. Everything reminded him of Blair. He thought he could still smell Blair's scent even though Blair hadn't been there in days. 

"This is insane" he said out loud as he stood on the balcony. 

He looked down at the ground below and leaned forward on the rail. It was so tempting. It could be over, all of it. And Blair could feel safe again. 

He heard the phone ringing behind him. He was torn between answering the phone and staying put. But something was telling him he should take the call. He stepped back from the rail and went inside. 

*Come on answer the phone, Jim..come on!* just then he heard the phone being picked up. 

"Hello?" 

"Jim! hey man I think I know how we can solve our problem" 

Jim remained silent. He was afraid to speak...could it all be over soon? 

"I've been reading some theories..." 

"Theories Chief?" 

"Yes it seems there was a similar Sentinel/Guide situation, there solution was to have prolonged contact..." 

"What do you mean prolonged contact?" Jim asked suspiciously. 

"Actually the Guide locked himself in with his Sentinel" Blair said. He knew Jim would have a fit at that. 

"WHAT!?! forget it Chief, I'm not going to let you endanger yourself on the basis of some half baked theory" 

"Jim, listen to me..." 

"The answer is no Blair" Jim said and hung up. 

*Damnit Jim, why can't you trust me on this. I'm sorry Jim I've got to go against you this time. This is gonna work, I can feel it* 

Blair decided that a sneak attack was the best option. He called Jim up. 

"Jim I'm coming to see you" 

"We've gone through this before Blair, you can't come" 

"Jim I'm calling from inside the building, please handcuff yourself to the balcony door like last time...I have the key, I'm coming in and I know you don't want to hurt me, so for both our sakes please do as I say" Blair's heart was pounding. He had never been more scared in his life. He wondered if Jim could hear his heartbeat through the phone. *The way my heart is beating you don't need Sentinel hearing to hear it* he thought to himself. 

Jim looked around trying to figure out what to do. For a moment he considered flinging himself off of the balcony to get away but handcuffed himself to the balcony door instead. 

Blair opened the door cautiously preparing to run. He peered inside to see Jim standing handcuffed to the door. He seemed a little agitated but not completely out of control. Blair shut the door and walked over to where Jim stood. The closer he got the more agitated Jim became. 

Blair sat down on the couch facing Jim. 

"Blair, what are you doing?" Jim asked shakily. 

"Just a little experiment Jim" 

"But you're just sitting there" 

"Exactly, listen Jim, you trying to avoid me will not work. Thats what I was trying to tell you man. This other Sentinel/Guide pair were going through similar thing. Only constant exposure helped them, hopefully we can duplicate that, we need to get you over this problem if we want a relationship between us" Blair . 

That statement seemed to subdue Jim a bit. "What do you mean Chief?" 

Blair smiled at the nickname. "Jim you know I love you, I know you heard me when I told you before" Jim said nothing but nodded. "And Jim I know you love me, this whole pheromone thing would not be happening if you didn't feel anything for me. At first I thought you were just reacting to the signals I was sending out, but then I realized I had been sending out these signals for a long time with no reaction from you. It had to be some change in your feelings that caused this to happen now" Blair held his breath, he thought his analysis of the situation was correct but still... 

He let his breath out when he saw Jim turn back towards him. 

"I do l-love you Chief" Jim said before beginning to struggle against the 'cuffs. 

Blair sat back on the sofa. He would stay here as long as it took. If he was right, this would all be over soon. He hoped that by the constant contact with Jim, Jim could get more "used to" the pheromones and would not react as strongly to Blair. 

Of course the only way to know if it worked would be to release Jim from the handcuffs. If it worked, great...another hurdle they had overcome and the foundation for a new aspect to their partnership, but if it didn't work... 

Blair had continued to talk to Jim for the rest of the night. Sometimes he tried to engage Jim in conversation to see if Jim could answer coherently. Other times he just sat and talked about the studies he had done and the people he had seen. 

Jim for his part was struggling as hard as he could against the 'cuffs. He was being denied his mate and his body screamed at him to rectify this. But there was something...something about his Guides voice that made him want to listen. At first when the struggles had begun he had barely understood him. Gradually Blair's voice came to sound almost like a lullaby, soothing him. 

Blair wasn't sure but he thought he was getting through to Jim. He thought Jim looked less feral than he had before. *Or maybe it's just wishful thinking* he frowned. 

Jim had finally given up struggling and was sitting on the floor with his arm still held up by the handcuff. Blair kept talking watching him warily, he stopped abruptly when Jim looked up at him. 

Jim was staring back at him. Not the crazy zoned out Jim, but his Jim. Blair was afraid to breathe. Could it all finally be over. He approached Jim cautiously and reached out to touch Jim's arm. Jim said nothing just watched him. He flinched when Blair reached out. He could hear Blair's heartbeat increase and could feel his do the same. 

He felt Blair touch his arm and waited for the madness to overtake him. Nothing happened. That was not quite accurate. Something did happen, a pleasant buzz filled him starting from where Blair had touched him. It was nothing like the hell he had been going through the past few months. 

Blair looked into Jim's eyes and then made his decision. He reached for the keys to the handcuffs. 

"Jim, I'm going to uncuff you now" 

"Blair, upstairs...get my gun" 

"NO!" Blair shook his head furiously 

"Please, Blair if I go crazy....just get it please" Jim moved his other hand to cover the handcuffs to prevent Blair from unlocking them. 

Blair went upstairs and with a heavy heart brought the gun back downstairs. He looked at Jim questioningly and after hesitating, Jim moved his hand so that Blair could unlock the handcuffs. Blair unlocked them and fought the urge not to step away. Instead he reached out tentatively to run a finger lightly over Jim's face. 

Jim shuddered from the touch and was filled with a need for Blair. But it was not the deadened running on instinct need that he felt anymore. This kind of need was the, I love this man so much who sacrificed his own safety for me, kind of need. 

"Blair..." 

"I know Jim, lets go upstairs okay?" Jim nodded and followed Blair upstairs. 

When they reached the top of the stairs they turned to face each other both searching the others face and thinking the same thought. 

*I need him. I've never needed someone this much. But can I trust myself with him?* 

Blair asked himself this because he realized he was vulnerable and was about to embark on the ultimate show of trust in Jim. 

Jim asked himself the question because he knew what was being offered to him and questioned his worthiness. This beautiful person was willing to share himself with Jim in this way. Could he trust himself not to hurt Blair? 

Jim reached out a trembling hand to touch Blair's hair. But his hand stopped before he could actually touch him. 

"Oh Chief, I want to touch you, but I'm so scared" 

Blair took out the handcuffs he had carried upstairs. "We will just have to use these for now Jim" he handcuffed Jim's arm to the bedpost leaving the other hand free. It was mainly a symbolic gesture, he was sure Jim could do allot of damage with one arm tied to the bedpost but it was more for Jim's comfort than his own. Blair had the feeling with sudden clarity that the worst was over. 

He kissed Jim gently trying not to startle Jim or go too fast. He worked his way down Jim's body, pushing Jim's shirt up. He nibbled and sucked on any visible flesh enjoying the feel of Jim arching beneath him. Knowing that he was doing this to Jim, what he had waited so long for nearly drove Blair over the edge, but he gained control. He wanted them to come together this first time. They had faced their problem together and it was only fitting that they share this as well. 

He paused only long enough to take both of their pants and boxers off and then looked into Jim's eyes. Jim had been quiet except for a few occasional moans but his eyes spoke volumes. They spoke of trust, friendship, passion and love. They told Blair all he needed to know. He began to move against Jim, a delicious friction that drove them closer and closer to the edge. He leaned down to kiss Jim. They came, each crying out the other ones name as they did so. 

Blair smiled up at Jim and moved to unlock the handcuffs. Jim smiled back. 

"Is that what we're going to have to do every time" Jim said, referring to the handcuffs. 

"Don't worry Jim, it won't always be this way, soon we will be able to use the handcuffs because we want to and not because we have to" Blair smiled impishly up at Jim. 

Jim smiled down at his guide. "Thank you, Blair...I don't know what I would do without you" 

"And you never will know Jim, I'm not going anywhere. I'm your guide and more than that I love you and I always will" Blair said as he snuggled against Jim. 

They lay together for a while until Blair felt Jim suddenly go still. He rolled away quickly and crossed over to the chair in the corner. He sat quietly watching Jim. 

Jim felt as if he were coming out of a fog. He realized there was no one next to him on the bed. He looked over to see Blair sitting in the chair. He turned to look at Blair's face and his eyes moistened when the first thing he caught was the bruise he had given Blair about a week before. 

Jim groaned in frustration as he realized he had probably begun to zone and that was why Blair was sitting in the chair. 

"It's okay Jim, no one said this would be easy. We just need to take things one step at a time" Blair said rising from the chair to stand next to where Jim lay on the bed. 

"I know Chief, it's just that..I want to hold you" 

"I know Jim but we are making progress here. Look you're not zoned now...it's just a matter of building up your tolerance level, so to speak" 

Jim sat up in the bed and gave Blair a hug, afraid to let go. 

"It's okay Jim, I'll just go down to my room for now" Blair said, releasing himself, giving Jim a quick kiss before heading down the stairs. 

Halfway down he paused and turned to look up at Jim who had been watching him descend. He blew a kiss to Jim. 

They both smiled, knowing that this was just a stumbling block for them, but also knowing that this could only make them stronger.  
  


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